Nowhere to Go
by authorjazmyne
Summary: Brenda/Sharon Quarantined and stuck together, Chief Johnson and Captain Raydor will find that it's impossible to avoid each other when there's literally nowhere to go. How do you deal with the problem when you can no longer run away from it?
1. Chapter 1

**Pairing:** Brenda Johnson/Sharon Raydor

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

**A/N:** I am in no way educated in viruses or anything else medical. Plus, this unnamed virus doesn't exist.

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**01**

Brenda Leigh Johnson tapped her fingers against the steering wheel of her Crown Vic as she and Sharon Raydor waited for the red light to turn green. Other than the constant beating of her fingers, there was no sound in the car. It was uncomfortable, making her squirm in her seat and roll her neck a few times, biting her lip to stop herself from saying anything to the other woman. Brenda had learned about fifteen minutes ago that Sharon clearly wasn't in the mood for conversation, or anything else for that matter. So Brenda had been quiet, except for that_ tap tap tap_ of her fingers.

"Is that truly necessary, Chief Johnson?" Sharon asked, her eyes still focused on the world outside of the car. If she were anyone else, the words would have been harsher, louder, her volume rising in that way that Sharon hardly ever did. But she was Sharon, and even when she was annoyed she almost always managed to stay collected.

The chief's fingers stopped as the light changed and her foot eased off the gas pedal. "You know, this ride would go a _whole_ lot better if you would just talk to me."

Sharon looked towards Brenda without shifting in her seat, her legs still facing towards the door. "Unless you would like to talk about this case, I have nothing to say to you, Chief."

Brenda's grip on the steering wheel tightened as she bit the inside of her cheek. Sharon turned back away, and Brenda made her way onto the interstate. "Why did you come with me if it's such a burden for you to be around me? Couldn't you have just ridden to the hospital with someone else?"

"I was under the impression that you were the only one going to speak to the suspect," Sharon said, still not looking at Brenda. "The only reason I'm even going to the hospital is because Chief Pope thinks it's in your best interest."

"You mean his best interest," Brenda said under her breath.

Sharon sighed. It had been a rocky road lately where Chief Pope was concerned. Sharon already wasn't too fond of the man, but lately things were worse than usual. With Brenda, it seemed like there were days when she either trusted him blindly or saw in him what Sharon saw: a man whose first priority was making sure his own job was secure. The latter seemed like the more appropriate description for how Brenda saw him at the moment.

"The point is, I couldn't get a ride to the hospital with anyone else because nobody else is going to the hospital. I would have driven myself, but I didn't drive to the crime scene this morning. It would have taken double the time if I had went back for my car and then went to the hospital."

Brenda's only response was a loud and lengthy exhalation. Ten more minutes and they would be at the hospital. Ten more minutes of being in a car with someone who clearly didn't want to be there with her. _Great_, Brenda thought sarcastically. As if things hadn't been bad enough lately.

...

Brenda's phone started ringing as she approached the exit. "You think you could get that?"

Sharon peered over glasses as she turned to look at Brenda.

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Unless you want me to crash into another car, it would be really helpful if you answered the phone for me, Captain." Her tone was a little more hostile than she meant it to be, but it got her what she wanted. "Thank you," she drawled as an afterthought.

Sharon reached for the phone and answered it, putting it on speaker. Brenda groaned when she realized Sharon was holding it up so she could speak for herself.

"Would it really hurt you to help me out just a little today?" Brenda groused.

Sharon pursed her lips before speaking. "If you wanted me to-"

A throat was cleared, making Sharon stop herself from continuing. "Uh, Chief?"

"Yes, Sergeant. What is it?" she huffed.

David Gabriel cleared his throat again, and Sharon shifted so that her arm rested on the console between the two of them. "You told me to call back when I had the room number for Mr. Donley," he said, his tone questioning and hesitant.

"Oh," Brenda said, following the curve of that led to the main street she needed to get on. "Okay."

"Well, Mark Donley is in room 528."

"Thank you, Sergeant. Is that all?" she asked, her voice back to its normal tone.

"Yes, ma'am," David responded, the sound of papers shuffling in the background.

"Is everythin' okay over there? I shouldn't be too long with Mr. Donley, assumin' he's really as cooperative as everyone else claims he is," she said, glancing to her right to make sure she could turn, her eyes shifting to Sharon for a second before she turned back, "but it wouldn't be surprisin' if somethin' else went wrong today."

"Uh, yeah, things are finally coming together. Is, uhm- Are you okay, Chief?" he asked with concern layered in his voice, though he still sounded hesitant.

"Oh, everthin's just fine," she said through gritted teeth. "I'll call when I'm finished with Mr. Donley. Hopefully he can tell me what I need to hear and we can finally close up this case."

"All right, Chief," he said before hanging up the phone. Sharon hung up as well.

Approaching the hospital, Brenda switched lanes. "Can you put that in my purse, or is that too much to ask for?"

Sharon stopped in the middle of turning around to reach for the huge bag Brenda had put in the back to give her more room. She looked at Brenda, ready to say something, but bit her tongue instead. She brought the bag to the front and dropped the chief's phone into the small pocket she knew she kept it in, even though that was not where it had just been.

When Brenda was looking for a parking space, Sharon rubbed at her temples and sighed. "What was the room number?" she asked softly.

Brenda turned to look at Sharon, noticed the way she kept massaging her head. "Uhm. 825," she said, slightly distracted.

Sharon nodded and jotted it down on the notepad she had on her lap. "Thanks."

Brenda nodded, watching the way Sharon pulled off her glasses and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. "Do you need an Advil or something?"

Sharon lifted her eyes from the notepad, looking as if there were something she wanted to say other than what she eventually said. "No, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Brenda asked. On instinct she reached over and rubbed her hand against Sharon's arm, green eyes softening for a moment as she accepted the comforting touch. It was only for a moment, and then Sharon pulled away slowly, licking her lips and looking out of the window.

"I'm all right. Thanks."

Brenda watched Sharon as she straightened her back and slid her glasses back on, and for a moment it was like the entire month hadn't happened. But, again, it was gone almost as soon as it appeared. Brenda sighed, turning her attention back to finding them a parking space.

...

Brenda pulled the door open and looked at Sharon. "After you," she said, gesturing with a wave of her hand.

Sharon smiled politely. "Thank you." She walked into the hospital, a cold rush of air hitting her as she crossed the small space between the first set of doors and the second.

Brenda came into the hospital, walking through the first set of hospital doors and to the door Sharon held opened for her. "Thank you," she said with a smile that was more genuine than the one Sharon gave her. Her fingers grazed Sharon's hand as she put her own hand to the door and held it open as well, the both of them walking through.

Sharon put her hands into the pockets of her black blazer once they were in the building completely. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Brenda sliding her sunglasses up into her hair. The blonde looked tired, which Sharon hadn't noticed until now. Although parts of her wanted not to care, she couldn't help herself. She wondered if Brenda hadn't been sleeping lately, or if she'd been burying herself in her work like she tended to do.

Brenda turned to Sharon and Sharon looked away. The chief slid her bag up her shoulder and then ran her hands down her soft coral cardigan. "Ready?" Sharon nodded once.

They walked to the elevator in silence. The noise of heels clicking against linoleum blended with the normal hustle and bustle of a hospital. At the elevator bay, Brenda folded her arms under her chest and turned to Sharon. Sharon didn't turn to look at the blonde, although she was fully aware that Brenda was looking at her. She looked up to see on which floor the elevator was on, wishing it would hurry up and get down to the lobby.

Brenda didn't say anything, but she was nibbling on her lip in that way that always gave away that something was on her mind. Sharon could see her in the reflection of the elevator doors, and after a few seconds of observing her freely, Brenda's eyes sought out hers in the unclear reflection. Right when Brenda was about to say something, one of the elevators made a ding and a set of doors opened behind them.

Sharon was grateful as she turned away and quickly walked into the elevator. Brenda was right behind her. Sharon stood to the side opposite Brenda, her back straight and her attention again focused on elevator doors.

"What floor was it?" Brenda asked as the doors closed and trapped them in the elevator together.

Sharon pulled her notepad from her pocket and glanced down to where she had written it. "The eighth," she answered and clutched the notepad in her hand.

Brenda pressed the button and then turned to face Sharon. The elevator started to move as she spoke. "Are you gonna be mad at me forever?" Brenda asked.

Sharon turned to face Brenda, though every sane part of her mind told her not to. The look in Brenda's eyes was enough to make her want to do something she knew she shouldn't - touch her, hold her, say words that she forbade herself to say to Brenda. Still, Sharon looked, allowed herself those few seconds of masochistic pain where she was forced to remember what they had and what they no longer had.

"I'm not mad at you," Sharon finally said, looking away and back to the elevator doors.

"Well, whatever you are..."

"Chief-"

"Brenda."

Sharon glanced at her as she repeated her rank, slow and certain. "This isn't the appropriate time to have this discussion."

Brenda groaned, one second away from stomping her foot against the floor. "It's never the_ appropriate_ time to have this conversation. Every time I try talkin' to you, you say that it's not the right time, or you're busy, or-"

"Did you ever think that maybe there is no proper time to have this conversation because it isn't one we should be having?" Sharon said, interrupting, her voice low and void of any emotion.

Brenda stepped over to the other side of the elevator and Sharon stiffened her back, her head lifting and eyes narrowing. Brenda sighed defeatedly. "I miss you."

Sharon would have scoffed or maybe retorted with a quip that could have easily been formed in response. She could have said a lot, but she didn't. The truth was, she missed Brenda too, and there wasn't anything she could say that would be able to hide that.

...

Room 825 was at the end of the corridor, a room set aside from the rest. This floor was much quieter compared to the lobby, and there were a lot less people. As they passed the nurses station with just two people at it, and walked past hospital rooms whose doors were mostly closed, Sharon felt a new wave of uneasiness. Coming to hospitals was always her least favorite part of investigations; she'd never liked them.

Brenda stopped in front of a door and then knocked on it, making her presence known before she went to open it.

"Ma'am," a young Asian woman in navy blue scrubs said just as Brenda was about to turn the knob, "you can't go in there right now."

Both Brenda and Sharon turned to the woman, and then Sharon turned to Brenda as the chief held up her badge and started to speak.

"I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson, and this is Captain Raydor." Imploring brown eyes stayed on Brenda, so she continued. "We just need to speak to Mr. Donley real quick. We won't be long."

"Mister who?"

"Mr. Mark Donley. He's a witness we need to question," Brenda said with a polite smile, though her patience was starting to waver.

"Uhm." The nurse looked over her shoulder towards the nurses station and then back towards Brenda, then Sharon. She scrunched up her face in confusion and uncertainty as she peered into the glass of the door. "I'm sorry, but I don't think there was, or is, a Mr. Donley in there."

"Room 825," Brenda said surely, "we have it right here." Brenda held out her hand towards Sharon. Sharon looked down at Brenda's hand and then back to the chief. "Captain, the room number."

"Oh." Sharon passed Brenda the notepad.

Written in blue ink on the bottom of the page was definitely room 825. "Can you-" The young nurse sighed tiredly and looked down to her pager. "If you just wait here a moment, I can find out where Mr. Donley is for you, because he's not in this room. Just..." She held up one finger and Brenda nodded, smiling widely. "I'll be right back."

"Sure. Take your time," she drawled.

Once the nurse was out of sight, the smile on Brenda's face fell and she turned back to the door. Disregarding what the nurse had just told her, Brenda opened the hospital door and started walking in.

"What are you doing?"

Brenda looked over her shoulder and then walked the rest of the way into the room. "What does it look like I'm doin', Captain?"

"Did you not just hear the nurse tell you to wait a moment?"

Brenda rolled her eyes and held the door open. "I have a murder to solve, Captain. Are you comin' in or not?"

Sharon looked from Brenda to the empty hall, and then decided to follow Brenda into the room. Sharon closed the first door behind her. There was a second door, a small space between the two; it was unlike the typical hospital room. There was a door and a sink against the wall in the small hall, but nothing else. Brenda peeked into the second door's glass, but from the door she was unable to see anything other than part of the window, a wall, and the hanging television.

"Yoo-hoo, Mr. Donley," Brenda called as she opened and walked through the next door. "It's Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson."

The captain followed Brenda into the room which appeared to be empty. There was only a hospital bed; there were no personal items lying around, nor were there any signs that anyone was in the room, especially not the witness they needed to see. The chief knocked on the bathroom door as Sharon walked to the other side of the room, which was just as bare as the side she'd just been standing on.

Brenda closed the bathroom door. "Mr. Donley couldn't have possibly been released. He's only been here since last night, and after nearly bein' shot to death..."

"Maybe you should have listened to the nurse when she told you he wasn't in here," Sharon said as she watched Brenda dig through her bag, looking for something, muttering under her breath. "Your phone's in the pocket," she said, guessing that was probably what she was looking for.

Brenda wrapped her hand around the phone as she thanked Sharon. She called Sergeant Gabriel, biting on her nail as she waited for him to pick up. She looked over to Sharon, who was now flipping through her notepad, her lips tightly pursed together and her brow furrowed.

"Hello," David answered.

"Detective," Brenda said as she switched her phone to the other ear and pulled her sunglasses from the top of her head, folding them so she could put them away. "What room is it you said Mr. Donley is in?"

"528," he answered.

"Room 528," she repeated, her voice rising in volume as she looked at Sharon, who was peering over the rim of her glasses. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Chief. I wrote it right here."

"Oh, shoot," she mumbled. "Thanks."

"You gave me the wrong room number," Sharon said when Brenda hung up the phone, looking at her like she had done something wrong.

Brenda huffed and dropped her phone back into her bag. "Let's just go downstairs and get this over with."

"Ahem," came from behind them and Sharon felt herself slightly jump. "May I help you?"

Brenda and Sharon turned to face the tall man in a white hazmat suit. At that very moment Sharon realized that something was wrong, more wrong than Brenda giving her the wrong room number to write down.

...

"Does that mean we're stuck in here until you're sure we haven't..."

"Picked up the virus," Nathan, the man in the hazmat suit, finished. He'd just finished explaining to them that they'd just walked into a room that had previously been holding a sick couple that had come to the hospital with a virus they weren't familiar with. And because the room had yet to be cleared for use by anyone else, there was a possibility that the virus, which they believed to be airborne, could have possibly still been present in the air; they were still unsure how long it could survive outside of the body.

Brenda had thought earlier that there was no way the day could get any worse.

"Someone will be here in a few minutes to do your blood work and give you guys the injections."

Clearly it was meant for her to be proven wrong.

_To be continued..._

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_Since I'm a few chapters away from being finished with this, and I have quite a few fics being posted soon, I'll be updating this bi-weekly for the next few months. Thanks for reading. _


	2. Chapter 2

**02**

"Unfortunately, because we are still trying to determine the origin of the virus and all the possible symptoms, we are unable to tell you much at the moment."

Sharon massaged her temples as a short sigh left her. "And those who were infected..."

The man in the hazmat suit cleared his throat before speaking. "A young couple came into the hospital two weeks ago after coming home from a trip out of the country. The woman presented symptoms similar to the common cold, as well as trouble breathing. That alone was not alarming. It wasn't until we also discovered a rash - her skin had become blotchy and was irritated - and we received her blood results back that we knew it wasn't the cold." He cleared his throat before continuing. "The man didn't show any symptoms for six days, and by this time the woman was already experiencing the extreme symptoms I told you about as I was giving you your medication."

Brenda stopped pacing, her mind still racing with all the possibilities. "So you're tellin' us you don't even know how long it will be before you know for certain if we were infected or not?"

The gray-haired man looked sympathetic as he clasped his hands together in front of him. "Not at the moment. We'll be drawing your blood again to monitor any changes that might occur. There's always a chance that your temperature might spike. It can be a symptom of the medication, but, as I said before, that's also one of the things that brought Jill to the ER."

"Fantastic," Sharon mumbled sarcastically as she hooked her thumbs into the pockets of her blazer.

"We suggest calling someone to bring you things you might need, just the essentials. Have them bring it here, and then one of us will have to pick it up from them and bring it to you." Brenda looked like she had something to say, a question in her eyes. "It's for safety. This is not something we want to have spread around."

Brenda nodded, letting out a deep breath. Her palms were becoming sweaty and she was nauseated by the thought of possibly having the unknown virus in her body. Brenda and Sharon continued to listen as he spoke, letting them know all the important details. Once finished, he left, shutting them in the room.

...

Brenda looked around the hospital room; it was smaller than the average room. "You should take the bed," Brenda said as she lowered herself onto the window pull out. Typically the room was used to hold only one, but for safety reasons, they weren't to leave the room.

Sharon looked over to Brenda from the wall she'd been leaning against. There was only one hospital bed in the room and the guest pull out that looked just as uncomfortable as the hospital bed did. From the pull out, there was a view of the city. The wall she was leaning against was adjacent to the one the bed and bathroom door was on. Next to her was a small window that had a small sliding black cover; it was used in case they needed to observe from outside of the room. At the moment it was closed.

"You'd think they could at least wheel another one of those beds in here," Brenda murmured, more to herself than to Sharon. It was clear Sharon wasn't really paying attention to her.

Sharon stayed quiet and didn't move. She was too busy thinking. When she had woken up in the morning, she was not expecting her day to be ending this way. If it weren't for Chief Pope insisting that she play babysitter, she wouldn't have even been there. She would have been tied to her desk, paperwork taking up her time until she was too tired to read the lines on the papers. Then, after convincing herself it was time to go home, she would have left and probably had a glass of wine and long bath. After the week - the month, really - she had, Sharon deserved that much. Yet, instead of a relaxing bath, Sharon was presented a plastic covered mattress and the possibility that she could have a deadly virus the doctors have yet to identify.

Brenda pulled her phone back out of her pocket and then put it down beside her. She had already called her detectives and they were fully aware of what was going on. She knew she probably should call her parents, but she didn't want to worry them unnecessarily. There was only one other phone call she needed to make. She needed someone to bring her some things from the house.

Brenda turned and looked at Sharon, who was still leaning against the wall. "The bed's not gonna bite you."

Sharon lifted up to look at Brenda, amusement the furthest thing from what was in her eyes.

Brenda looked down for a moment and then leaned back against the chair. "I know you're not in a good mood-"

"Brenda, we are stuck in a hospital room because you told me the wrong room number and now we might have a virus, a virus that they aren't even familiar with." Sharon let out a slow breath, leaning her head back against the wall, her eyes falling shut slowly. "This is not me being in a bad mood. This is me trying not to be worried."

"You know I didn't purposely tell you the wrong room number, right?"

Sharon opened her eyes and looked at Brenda, sighing. "Of course I know you didn't." She pulled her glasses from her face and folded them, placing them on the simple wood nightstand beside the bed. "I wasn't blaming you. That wouldn't be fair. I'm just..."

"Scared," Brenda said as she stood up.

With anyone else she would have denied it. But if anyone could tell when she was lying, it was Brenda. She only made a sound in the back of her throat and sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, the bed making a weird sound as she did so.

Brenda walked around the bed and cautiously sat down beside Sharon. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Sharon tilted her head sideways and looked out the corner of her eye. "Talk about the virus?"

Brenda shrugged. "If that's what you want."

Sharon shook her head. "I rather not talk about it," she admitted. She was worrying herself enough about it already. She needed to stop thinking about it, stop imagining what would happen if she were sick and they didn't figure out what to do.

Brenda's thigh brushed against Sharon's as she turned to face the other woman fully, her leg bending and resting on the mattress. Sharon looked down to the hand that Brenda reached out and placed on her thigh. It was tentative, as most interactions between them now were, but Brenda starting to gently rub her hand over Sharon's thigh, close to her knee where her dress no longer covered.

Sharon's eyes were focused on Brenda's hand, but her mind was far away from her.

_"That's very distracting," Sharon said without raising her eyes from the work she was doing._

_Brenda's index finger trailed back up her thigh, moving along the seam of her pants. "Is it?" Brenda asked from the seat beside her own, faux innocence in her tone. It came dangerously close to the apex of her thighs and she inhaled sharply, still focusing on the report in front of her._

_"You know it is," Sharon finally responded, licking her lips slowly._

_"Hmm." Brenda leaned over in her chair and Sharon could feel Brenda's hot breath against her ear before Brenda's lips surrounded the lobe._

_Sharon's pen fell against her desk and her eyes shut, a soft 'mmm' escaping her. Brenda's laugh vibrated against her ear as the blonde sucked and then nibbled her ear, her finger still sliding up and down her thigh._

_"Chief, this is highly-" Brenda moved her mouth down to her neck and sucked over that sensitive spot that never failed at making Sharon's head spin when Brenda's mouth was there. _

_Brenda kissed her way back to Sharon's ear. "This is what, Captain?" she drawled, her hand flat against Sharon's thigh as it slowly moved upwards._

_Sharon's nostrils flared as she tried to keep her breathing somewhat even. Brenda's tongue traced the shell of her ear, and her hand was heading to the waist of her pants, her fingers soon popping the button open._

_"Very inappropriate," she answered, opening her eyes as she turned and looked at the chief, brown eyes dark with lust, lips inviting. "And very distracting. I have work to do."_

_Brenda grinned as she picked up Sharon's pen with the hand that wasn't working to unzip Sharon's pants. "Nobody told you to stop writin'," she mumbled before bringing her lips back to the side of Sharon's neck._

Sharon shivered on the hospital bed and jerked away from Brenda's touch. "You have to stop touching me," Sharon said, though part of her didn't want her to. It was the same part of her that was also bringing back memories that she kept trying to push away. It had been happening all day, ever since Chief Pope told her she would be accompanying Brenda.

Brenda stood from the bed. "I know," she said. "It's hard to break out of habits."

"I've seen you accomplish greater feats. I'm sure you could do it if you tried hard enough."

Brenda sat down on her seat and looked out the window, down to the city below them. "That's implyin' I want to stop," she murmured, "and we both know I don't."

Sharon got up from the bed, her skin tingling from where Brenda had touched her. It was another reminder, another form of a memory. She didn't want any of it. She didn't want to still react to Brenda's touch. She had actually believed things were getting easier, but it was becoming more clear to her that she had been mistaken.

"Of course you don't," she said, getting Brenda's attention. "That would, of course, be too hard for you because it's not what you want." Brenda questioningly arched an eyebrow. "Your problem is," she started, looking into Brenda's eyes, "you expect to get everything you want, but you don't think about how it's affecting other people. Maybe if you looked at things from someone else's perspective, things would be differently."

Brenda didn't drop her gaze, but she felt a pull inside her chest at Sharon's words. It was uncomfortable and stung. Sharon had a way of saying things to Brenda that made her think. There was always more than one meaning behind statements like that, more being said than what she actually spoke aloud. Sharon was a code, a cryptic message, a puzzle given to Brenda without a picture to go by. Understanding a woman who put up walls and held up shields to protect herself was tricky. But Brenda had long cracked the code, and it made it a lot easier to read between the lines. Even so, there were times she wished she didn't know what Sharon was really saying to her. This would be one of those times.

...

Sharon, now dressed in a pair of comfortable pants and shirt, was trying to relax a little. An elevated blood pressure was not something she needed to add to the list of problems she had. The dinner they had provided was going cold as she stared at it. She couldn't eat, not while she was looking over every detail of her life.

As of now, the only person she had spoken to was Ellen, the friend who had went and gathered some clothes and a few random items from her apartment for her. She'd yet to speak to her children. They were both studying for finals on the East Coast and there wasn't any reason to worry them at the moment. And her mother had been sick lately, so she didn't want to call her parents until she had concrete information to give them. It would only make things worse if she were to add more stress to her parents' plates. Sharon was left worrying about it by herself, which was actually the way she preferred it. She didn't want to scare any of her family members, especially when she knew so little and there was nothing any of them could do.

Sharon got up from the bed, taking her food and putting it where Stanley, one of the men in the hazmat suit, told them to. Sharon stood silently for a moment, looking past Brenda and out the window to the buildings around them whose lights were slowly starting to get turned off as people headed home.

Brenda looked up from the text message she was reading from Lieutenant Tao - the team was keeping her in the know where the case was concerned. She studied Sharon as the older woman looked past her as if she wasn't there.

Sharon had clipped her hair back and taken off her glasses, little left to hide the stress presented in her features. Her eyes looked dimmer and the crinkles beside her eyes seemed deeper. Sharon's lips were pursed tightly and her brow furrowed, worry lines forming. Brenda sighed loudly, attempting to get Sharon's attention. It didn't work. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. It was almost impossible to talk to Sharon, impossible to do much of anything when Sharon didn't want to be bothered by her.

Sharon rolled her shoulders as she turned around and grabbed her small bag and went into the bathroom. Brenda quickly replied to the text message, knowing it was going to be the last for the night. She put the phone on the ledge beside her and then got up, her back aching from the uncomfortable chair.

They were due one more visit for the night, expecting nothing went wrong. Brenda picked up the duffel bag that had been brought to her and plopped it down on her seat, unzipping the navy bag, even more colors popping out to meet her eye, clothes and all things she considered necessary. She dug through the bag until she found a long sleeve top. It was late spring, but the air conditioning kept the room cool. The new shirt seemed like the better option to go with the pajama pants she'd thrown on earlier when her things arrived. The tank top she had on left her arms cold, goosebumps rising.

Sharon had finished up in the bathroom and was coming out when Brenda was pulling off her shirt. Brenda froze after she got the shirt off, looking at Sharon. She could see the way Sharon swallowed quickly, her tongue slipping out to wet her lips. The reaction from Sharon, while slight, made her skin heat in a familiar way.

Sharon looked up and into Brenda's eyes. "Sorry," she apologized, and then she turned around and turned the light off in the bathroom, closing the door.

Brenda dropped the shirt down on the chair. "For?"

Sharon put her bag down with the rest of her belongings and pulled out a book, taking it with her as she sat on the edge of hospital bed, facing the wall. "I should give you some privacy."

"I'm only changin' my shirt. If I wanted privacy, I could have gone in the bathroom." Sharon looked over her shoulder. Brenda smiled as she put the new shirt on and sat down. "And it's not like I actually mind"

The small smile that had started to grow on Sharon's lips faded and she turned back around. "I'm going to read for a little while."

Brenda sighed with something akin to defeat. "Of course you are."

_To be continued..._

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

3

Brenda shifted on the uncomfortable pull out, the room unbearably silent, as it had been since the doctor left from checking on them. Sharon was still reading, facing away from Brenda, her head propped up on her hand. Sharon hadn't said anything to her since Brenda asked her if the television was disturbing her reading, which she said it wasn't. The television did, however, make it harder for Brenda to think, so it was turned off shortly after.

Sharon closed her book after she realized she'd read the same line at least four times. She wasn't sleepy, but she also wasn't interested in her book at the moment. She could feel Brenda looking at her from the other side of the room and it was making it hard for her to concentrate. Sharon placed the book on the nightstand and then sat up, pulling her glasses from her face as she looked over to Brenda. Her glasses went to the nightstand with her book.

Brenda rolled over so she was on her stomach, not removing her eyes from Sharon as she watched her. Brenda stayed quiet for a moment as she thought of what to say; she ended up blurting out what had been on her mind since they stepped out of the elevator earlier. "When I said I missed you earlier, I meant it." Sharon didn't say anything, just like she hadn't earlier. Brenda sighed and looked away. "I miss talkin' to you. I miss spendin' time with you. I miss..." Brenda sighed.

"Why are you doing this?"

Brenda furrowed her brow and looked over to Sharon. "Why am I doin' what?"

Sharon waved her hand between them. "Whatever it is you're doing today? I don't know what you hope to accomplish-"

"By tellin' you I miss you?" Sharon hummed affirmatively. "Wh-wh-why is it so hard for you to believe that I just want you to know? Maybe I think it's somethin' you might want to hear. I've missed you a lot lately, and, and, and even if we're not in a good place now, I want you to know that I think of you still. I miss you and-"

"You mean," she interrupted slowly, "you miss fucking me," she said crassly.

"That is not what I meant, and you know it," Brenda said sternly as she sat up.

"Oh, is it not?" Sharon rubbed at her temples, the headache she'd been having all day getting stronger. "That's what we did, isn't it?" she asked harshly.

"That's not all we did," Brenda said, looking away from Sharon. She knew Sharon was hurting, but lately Sharon had been lying the bitchiness on a bit thick. "You and I both know that's not all that happened between us."

Sharon bit back her initial response. "I honestly don't want to talk about this," she said as she massaged her forehead with two fingers.

"So tell me what you want to talk about." Brenda turned to face Sharon. "Because I keep tryin', but nothing I say to you anymore is what you want to hear."

Sharon didn't say anything at first. She laid down and took a few deep breaths, trying to relax herself. Brenda got under her skin in the worst of ways. It had always been this way between them. From the moment Brenda first pulled rank, Sharon knew there was something about Brenda that was going to be a challenge. And a challenge everything between them had been. Their working relationship had more than a handful noteable bumps in its road, their "friendship" had barely lasted two weeks before Chief Delk effectively put an end to it (unintentionally, of course), and then there was the complicated seven months that had just passed. Point is, whenever Brenda was involved, life for Sharon was complicated and challenging.

"I don't know how to talk to you anymore," Sharon admitted quietly.

Brenda hadn't expected an actual response after waiting for so long, but she turned back to look at Sharon at the sound of her voice. "The same way you used to. This doesn't have to be as hard as you're makin'."

"As I'm making it?" Sharon questioned, her voice dropping lower.

"Yes," Brenda answered without hesitation. "I've been tryin',_really_ tryin' to fix things between us."

Sharon laughed before she was able to stop herself. "That's rich, Brenda, really." Looking at Brenda, Sharon shook her head with disbelief. "Please. Please tell me what it is you're trying to fix. If I'm not mistaken - feel free to correct me if I'm wrong - everything is going according to plan. You should be happy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brenda asked defensively.

"You got what you wanted."

"No I didn't," Brenda said immediately. "I wanted you."

Sharon looked away before muttering: "There was a time when I thought you did, too, but we were both wrong."

_Sharon could tell something was wrong with Brenda, though she hadn't said anything. It was that she hadn't spoken a word since they entered Sharon's apartment that made Sharon wonder what was going on. Sitting down with a glass of wine at the kitchen bar, Brenda looked lost and distracted._

_Sharon closed up the pot and put the spoon down in its place before going to Brenda, standing in front of her, the bar separating the two of them. "Penny for your thoughts?"_

_Brenda looked up from her Merlot and tilted her head sideways questioningly. "What was that?"_

_Sharon frowned. "What's going on?"_

_"Nothin' worth worryin' 'bout right now," she said as she brought the glass to her mouth._

_Sharon watched her take a few sips of the wine before placing the glass back down. "But you are worrying about it," Sharon pointed out._

_Brenda smiled briefly before reaching her hand out, and Sharon took it in her own, gently caressing Brenda's smooth skin with her thumb. Brenda stretched up on the stool and leaned in so she could press a kiss to Sharon's lips. It was soft and quick, the blonde's lips tasting like the wine._

_Brenda's smile widened as she pulled away, happiness shining in her brown eyes as they lit up. "Bein' here with you makes me want to forget everythin' else," she whispered. Sharon hummed. "Sometimes I don't even want to leave," she admitted quietly._

_Sharon smiled. Brenda said things, things that made Sharon wish the circumstances were different. It made her long for the unattainable. Brenda also made her feel something she hadn't felt in years, or ever. It was like that feeling you got when you were standing on a diving rock at a diving hole. There was a rush of blood that pumped through your veins, adrenaline on full blast, and excitement would vibrate in your bones as you looked down, ready to jump. Brenda was that diving hole, and Sharon wanted to plunge in._

_She wanted to tell her she didn't have to leave, that she could stay, but she didn't. Instead, Sharon moved her mouth back to Brenda's and kissed her, earning a small hum from the blonde as she told her everything she needed to know without saying a word._

...

Brenda sat up abruptly, sighing loudly as she leaned against the small wall beside the window; she folded her legs, tucking her feet under her thighs. Other than the light coming through the window, the room was dark. Sharon hadn't said anything to Brenda since their earlier discussion and Brenda eventually laid down, the light soon being turned off. She looked over to Sharon, sighing again, a little louder than the time before. In the quiet room, it was the only sound.

Sharon bit the inside of her cheek to restrain herself from turning to face the other woman. If Brenda actually wanted Sharon's attention, she would have to say so. Brenda wasn't a child, and any other time she had no problem speaking freely, even when Sharon would have preferred she said nothing at all. So Sharon wouldn't bend to Brenda's will and respond to her childish attempts to get her attention.

Brenda tapped her fingers against her thigh, looking up at the ceiling. After a while, even white started to blur into something else, something surprisingly colorful. She was going to lose it in here, she was sure. Waiting to find out if you had a deadly virus was bound to make anyone feel a little insane, but this wasn't entirely about that. It was about being stuck in a room with Sharon, something she knew Sharon had been avoiding at all cost lately. It was also not being able to figure out if Sharon ignoring her was because Sharon was worried about the test results or because she really wanted nothing to do with Brenda like everything she'd said to her recently made her feel. Yes, the idea of dying because of stupid mistakes was part of it, but her insanity was mostly going to be caused by things that had to do with Sharon.

...

Sharon had had enough. At the sound of another sigh that was clearly meant to get her attention, Sharon rolled over onto her back and looked at Brenda. Brenda looked startled for a second before she relaxed and pulled her lip into her mouth, her eyes dancing inquisitively as if she had no idea why Sharon was now looking at her. Sharon's arched eyebrow gained her no response, so she looked away again, her hands clasping together and resting atop her stomach, the steady rise and fall calming.

Brenda groaned and slumped down. _Fine_, she decided, if Sharon wasn't going to speak to her first, she would have to be the one to break the silence. Brenda shifted and laid down on her side, her head propped up by her hand, her fingers weaving through her blonde hair as it tumbled down.

"Sharon," Brenda said softly, her voice questioning. She could feel her lungs tightening inside her, her heart slowing down before starting to pound. It felt like hours had passed before she heard a small hum as an answer. It was barely there, quiet and almost unrecognizable, but it was an answer. But what was she supposed to say now?

Silence seemed louder than before as Sharon continued to stare up towards the ceiling, waiting for Brenda to say something. She could hear each second tick by as if there were a clock against her ear - tick, tock, tick, tock. When it became apparent that Brenda wasn't going to say anything, Sharon turned her head, russet eyes focused on her.

"Were you going to say something?" Sharon asked, her voice smooth but hesitant, almost as if she were unsure she actually wanted to know the answer to the question.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled and rolled over so she was on her back.

Sharon stayed very still for a moment, her eyes not leaving Brenda's profile. She swallowed slowly and then cleared her throat. "You're sorry?" Brenda nodded. "And what are you sorry for?"

Brenda turned her head back to look at Sharon. There was a lot she was sorry for, a lot she knew she had done wrong, a lot she knew Sharon blamed her for even when she said she didn't. But instead of saying any of that, Brenda took one last look at Sharon and then closed her eyes, rolling all the way over until she was on her side and facing away from Sharon. She couldn't say any of it out loud - not yet.

Sharon had seen the hurt in Brenda's eyes, the way she wanted to say something but couldn't bring herself to do it. Sharon felt her heart ache at the sight, and then felt it ache even more as she watched Brenda turn her back to her. Goddammit! She had no right! Sharon didn't want to feel like this, not again, not because of Brenda again. But she did.

Sharon rolled over as well, focusing on the boring blue wall. She let out a slow breath and told herself that she wasn't allowed to feel this way because of Brenda. She wasn't allowed to feel like she should walk over there and pull Brenda into her arms. She wasn't allowed to want to feel Brenda beside her, just to have her there, feel her breathe, hear the beating of her heart. And most importantly, Sharon wasn't allowed to let her emotions get involved again. Still, despite telling herself this, she felt the burning behind her eyes, the want in her bones, and the ache in her chest.

Quickly she blinked. Her emotions may be coming to the forefront again, but she'd be damned if she actually let it show. There would be no tears, there would be no getting up to be next to Brenda, and there definitely wouldn't be any signs of weakness. She let out a slow, quiet breath and closed her eyes. There would just be silence. It was all she could handle.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Thanks for reading . Currently I don't have access to the internet (the reason this is a day late ) and editing on a phone is a headache, so I don't know when the next time I'll be able to update will be. Hopefully I'll be able to stick to schedule, but there is the possibilty that I won't. _


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